When the Healer Needs Healing
Who do you turn to when your world is turned upside down?
What happens when the healer needs healing?
What happens when the mother needs mothering?
What happens when the caretaker needs care?
We may be afraid to let others know about our vulnerabilities, our need for support, our weaknesses and may have shame oozing within us that saturates our thoughts with ‘I should be stronger, I should be able to handle it’ etc. Diminishing ourselves because we could not live up to the impossible task of perfection; but we are human, no? We are imperfect, mortal and although we may be able to serve 90% of the time, sometimes we need help.
Many healers came to this profession because of deep wounds, struggles with health and wanting to understand. Many psychologists came to psychology in a hope to understand their own mental woes. Many doctors or nurses may have struggled or seen someone struggle with a health issue and knew the seriousness of losing one’s greatest wealth.
And then there is someone that is not tied to any healing field that suffers.
We can do everything right, eat right, exercise right, not smoke or drink and still fall ill. Why? It can be frustrating, especially for a healer that is expected to have the answers. Sometimes we do not. Sometimes it’s beyond our scope. Sometimes, it’s not anything we did but something beyond that.
Sometimes we have to rest with that uncertainty and avoid blaming ourselves. Blame, guilt, shame will not bring us any closer to healing, in fact it will move us away from it. Sometimes we get dealt an uncomfortable hand and we have to figure out with compassion how to move forward and how best to play the hand we have. Sometimes there is no one to blame, sometimes it’s just is what it is.
We could get heady trying to figure it out- maybe its genetics, maybe it was a virus that weakened the system, maybe it was years of chronic stress, maybe it was karma from a past life… who knows. In fact it doesn’t really matter. What matters is what we do now and how we move from this space of fear and confusion.
How do we move forward when healing is needed? How do we put the ego aside with its ‘should and shouldn’t be’s’ and move toward wholeness and integration? Because isn’t that what healing is, a coming back together and a shift from separateness to togetherness again.
The biggest obstacle to our healing can be the “I”.
The ‘I’ with its beliefs, its ideas, its ideologies, its thought patterns and its separateness .“This shouldn’t be happening to me, I don’t deserve this, I don’t want this…” etc.
Disease (dis-ease) means that we have left ease, we are not in the flow. We have strayed in some way. Generally, we focus on the physical, it must be something we did wrong and with Ayurveda we can find the cause and help; but there are also spiritual reasons, underneath there is another story.
How did we stray from ourselves? How did we stray from divine connection?
Sometimes, sickness and disease happens because we are being called to surrender to something more than ourselves. Perhaps we have gotten too rigid in our thinking that we know it all, or we are it all.
God works in mysterious ways and isn’t it when there is no where else to turn that we turn to him/her? When all of our smart ways have been fruitless and we are in the pits of sorrow and confusion that we turn our face to heaven and pray?
I do believe that life is happening for us and when suffering and death emerges it provokes questions. It was through this questioning that I came to:
If life is happening for us, then suffering is happening for us also.
Every episode of suffering has brought me closer to God. I could be deep in the new age movement, in my partying era, high in the Himalayans puking my brains out; but when real fear and the worry of ‘am I going to make it through this’ enters my mind I turn to God instinctively.
In the Bible Jesus said (I am paraphrasing) he came for those that lost their way, for the poor in spirit, for the lost sheep, for those living in sin (sin actually means to miss the mark, or to have gone off course and be separate from the divine) for the sick etc.
One of my favourite versus is Mark 2:17: On hearing this, Jesus said to them, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” When I was down and out, there he was. I didn’t crave him when I was healthy, when things were going great, when life was full of action and blessings. No, he showed up when my face was covered in tears and I didn’t know how I was going to make it through.
So what does the healer do when the healer cannot heal because they need healing?
Turn to the greatest healer.
What does the mother do when the mother needs mothering?
Turn to the greatest mother.
What does the father do when the father needs to be fathered?
Turn to the ultimate father.
There you will gain strength to carry you through.
As a society it is easy to blame the doctor that isn’t following their own advice and is living in an unhealthy way for being sick. But when the doctor that is doing it perfectly falls sick, perhaps they are being called to something deeper within themselves. To surrender their ego, their will to a greater will. Perhaps it’s the grave error that a part of them believes they can control life, that if they do it right than they will get a certain outcome. Many times they do, but sometimes God has other plans.
We are not the driver. We do not know our karma, we do not know what is in store for us and when we will expire and transition. Only the ultimate knows this.
I have used the analogy of a healer but I think this applies to everyone. We all face morality, we all face suffering and we all have pressures we place on ourselves either from the inside or from society. There are expectations that we need to meet. Sometimes, we cannot meet them, sometimes we need support, sometimes life throws us a curve ball and we are humbled. We remember that there is something more powerful than us.
It doesn’t matter what you believe, but believe in something, something good, loving and life giving.
The path that sings to your heart, is for you.
When life falls apart, who do you turn to?
We all need support, we all need guidance and we all need something to believe in.
Faith and hope creates strength in our mental and physical health.
When the world goes crazy, as it is, we need to lean on something that will provide reassurance and reminds us that we do not have to do it all alone, that we do not need to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders.
Of course, we can and should help where we can, with our capabilities but we are not invincible. We need a place to rest our weary heart.
Who do you call and who answers?
Who do you see when everything has fallen away and you have nowhere else to go?
Who do you turn to when you’re the one that is supposed to have the answers but you do not?
The one you intuitively felt in your heart, saw in your minds eye or heard when you answered these questions; that aspect of the Divine is for you.
Now, build a relationship with them.
Panchakarma
Currently, I am in South India doing a panchakarma (a whole body detoxification and rejuvenation program that balances all the systems and doshas in the body). One of Ayurveda’s strength is on prevention and for the next 3 weeks I am focusing on real self care. Eating well, doing yoga and pranayama, having Ayurvedic treatments and therapies to balance my body, mind and spirit.
The weather is hot and humid, but there is a pleasant breeze with majestic flowers, exotic bird song’s and little geckos that only emerge at night.
Here are some photos I have taken since my arrival a couple days ago:
Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoy what I share. You are welcome to leave comments. If you have not already subscribed, please do so. There is a paid option as well. Although, I am not financially motivated, this is one way you can show support for my time and energy.
May you be blessed and healthy in body, mind and spirit.
Much love,
Thalita